Stop 'fretting' about everything.
All this worry and fear, anxiety and being overly-sensitive to everything is killing my body and soul and mind!
Anyway, along about 12:30-0200 in the morning, I said, "okay Lord, I want you to not just be WITH me, I want you to not just be 3/4 in me or 95% in me, I want You to LIVE through me, in me, above me, before me, behind me......Christ IN me and not I that live but Him through me 100%.
It's strange how we can pray so much, read His Word so much, hunger and thirst after righteousness so much, be in a constant state of prayer and still be so filled with 'self'.......and even though I pray, "not my will, but Thine, be done.....and I mean it with all my heart-the problem is it's always what I 'think' is what God should or needs to do. Not consciously, of course (well maybe sometimes!), but I have to start to live my life strictly for what God wants to do....when, where, how, why......and it has to be all about Him and how He sees the plan.
Somehow, I have to surrender Sue's Self completely.......more than ever before! I suppose I have to begin to just see everyone through His eyes and how much He loves them to be able to really let go of it. My only 'job' now has to be prayer........His will be done, His Kingdom come.
Also the book talks about praying for the peace of Jerusalem....well, you know already that the Jews have been my ministry of love for God and His chosen people. My friend, Avi Snyder, the European Director for Jews for Jesus, has helped me a lot in seeing why and how we pray for that peace....we pray that they will come to KNOW the PRINCE of PEACE-there IS no other Peace for them or anyone else!
In praying for the Jews and all of Israel to come to know the true God, Jesus the Messiah, and for the world to know Him, we WILL be ushering in the Kingdom for Jesus' return! The Bible verse that says (Avi explained this to me according to Jewish and Hebrew tradition)...the verse that says Jesus said, "You will not see me, henceforth, until you can say, 'blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord." means;
that in Jewish tradition at a wedding, they always say this when the bridegroom appears at his wedding! and that means that when we SEE who Jesus really is (including Jews or any who doesn't know who He is), then we can say, "blessed is He who comes in the name of the LORD" The Bridegroom!
It all fits so amazingly well, and I'm so excited....I just want to be ready and pleasing to Him when he comes...not to be one that will hear Him say (because of my allowing the cares of this world to choke Him out, when I LOVE HIM so much!!!), "depart from me, I never knew you!"
I know that the saying goes, 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' and I don't want all my love and efforts to be just good intentions....I want them to be GOD intentions!
I want people to SEE JESUS IN ME!
